December 2001
Monday, December 31, 2001
My mom and I just finished watching Pearl Harbor and I've just got to say that movie is the bomb! Oh, it was SO good. I'm gonna have to buy it now, or once I've got a job and some money anyway. ;) It was really awesome. A rather twisted love story in it, but it wasn't too bad. I just think it's stupid that the chick and the best friend thought Ben's character died! I mean, c'mon! He wasn't gonna die!!! Ugh! I knew it the whole time too and I'm like, "No, don't be kissin' her 'cause the other dude's not dead!!!" I don't know, I'm an insane movie person. lmao I could watch movies all day, which I've done before. LoL I love long movies. Dances With Wolves is a good example. That's a GREAT movie. Ok, enough about my obsession with long movies...
I hope you all are having a good New Years. I'm just hanging out at home watching TV with my mom and doing some stuff on the net. My mom's probably going to be off to bed soon so it'll just be me at the TV after that. I think maybe I'll watch Pearl Harbor again. :) I don't want to watch any of the New Years things on TV. Most of them are boring in my opinion and it just sucks to sit at home watching them on TV. I wish that I would have been invited to do something, but me being the friendless nerd that I am, I did not. *laughs* Ah well, maybe next year, or the year after that, or...
I was going to put up icedflames.org yesterday, but the server was down so I thought I'd put it up today, but the server's still down. Arg. It's the server that almost never goes down too! Ugh. On the bright side, the server for shininstar.net and a few of my other domains is up so that's good. :) Especially considering they've been going down a lot lately(it'd be up for a day and down for two and then repeat that pattern). Ugh...I guess I'm gonna go and work on some sites I should be working on. Maybe I'll get lucky and get inspiration for the new layout I want to make for here. ;)
Sunday, December 30, 2001
Well, as usual, my life is just blah. LoL On Friday Ani and I did get to go shopping and that was lots of fun! :) I got three new CDs (Seal, Craig David, Train) and they rock! I still haven't listened to all of them in their entirety, but I'm geting to it. ;) I also bought myself a chordless phone for in my room. My hands free phone got killed a while ago and we were at Target and I saw a nice blue/clear transparent phone that I liked and was a good price so I bought it. :) LoL Oh, and when Ani and I were at the mall we went into Mariposa(sp?) and were looking at the dresses and Ani found one she really liked so I made her try it on and low and behold, it fit her perfectly and looked awesome! LoL She's not sure if she's going to prom this year or not (her junior year), but she's gonna go back and buy the dress anyway because it rocked so much! lmao It was good for me to finaly get out somewhere besides church on Sundays. I've been either sitting on my butt in front of this computer screen or sleeping since break started. It's quite sad really. I need to go out and look for a job. I'm really feeling the whole loss of income thing and I don't like it. I've got hosting stuff to pay for soon, gas money for when classes start again on the 2nd, and then insurance, plus if I ever want to buy new music again... LoL I gotta get off my butt and go a lookin'. I think I'll wait until it's not the middle of the night though. ;)
Today, yesterday it would be now, my mom and I went to go see the Harry Potter movie. It was really good! I liked it! LoL I think that the guy who played the 'keeper' on Harry's team in the game(I'm not even going to try and spell the name of it) is a hottie!! I like him. :D I'm going to have to go and buy it when it comes out along with The Lord of the Rings which I'm going to go and see again later this week. :)
Well, after I sleep, wake up and go to church, then come home, you all should expect to see that I've launched a new site! :) It's all ready except for a music file I need to make and that's why it's not up now. Hopefully it won't suck too bad. There's a lot of things I need to work on with it. It will definately be on of those ongoing sites that's really never completed. Ok, I guess I should go to bed before my mom wakes up and finds me typing on my computer. I have to get up for church or else I'm going to be in deep crap so I should probably get to sleep pretty quick. I'll post later. G'night!
Tuesday, December 25, 2001
Merry Christmas everybody!!!!!!!!
I'm a very happy camper. :) I slept in until about 11:30 though. lol Longer than my parents did and it always used to be the other way around. Then we opened stockings, mine being the coolest ever, mind you, and I got mostly candy in it with a blue camo bandana(yay!), a WWJD? book, a little pad of paper where all the sheets say 'A note from Holly,' and a little WA license plate that has my name on it too. :) Oh, and to explain real quick why my stocking is the coolest ever, it's because it's got a stuffed animal head of Rudolph and then the stocking part is all red and green flanel and the top of the front has hoofs on it and it ties closed with a green bow. :) I wish I had a digital camera so I could show you all, but I'll be getting one soon so I'll just take a pic of it next year or something. :)
Ok, so after stockings was presents and I got a BSB book, a Nick Carter 2002 calendar, a white chocolate orange(I didn't even know they had them), socks(I keep wearing holes in the heels of mine. lol), and then of course, my tablet(draw pad) was an early Christmas present. :) I'm pretty happy with it all. Especially now that I've got a bunch of Andes Mints to eat. ;D
We had a big breakfast with bacon, eggs, and fried potatoes and it was good. My mom knew I wasn't going to be up in time for the 'Very Merry Christmas' parade so she taped it for me and we watched it while we were eating. Now, the whole time they kept talking about how parades are magical and everyone just loves them, and I must be so wierd freak because I don't really. I mean, every once in a while, like Christmas and Thanksgiving, I'll watch them and they're nice and all, but they really don't do THAT much for me. Whenever I'm in DisneyLand nowadays, my cousins and I usually try and get on the most popular rides whenever there's a parade because the lines are usually a little shorter. LoL But, yeah, I just didn't feel the whole awe of the parade thing. It was nice to watch though and the musical performances were pretty good. Only thing was, I couldn't understand a word Aaron was singing! lmao I was like, "Aaron, you look great and you managed to pull of white pants pretty good, but I just cannot, for the life of me, figure out what it is that you're singin'!" LoL
I called the family cabin down in Cali a little while ago and talked to some of my cousins. :) They're all doing great and made out pretty dang good with their Christmas gifts. They got a PS 2 and a bunch of games for it as well as one of those DDR pads! Plus, the two older boy are going to go on a nice road trip tomorrow to pick up the eldest's new car! Well, new to him anyways. It's a '94(I think) Ford Mustang. He's really excited. LoL Sounds like they're going to have a lot of fun with that and they're gonna stop at some places on the way back and take lots of pics for me to see. :) I get to call the cabin again tomorrow or the next day because that's when some of my other cousins are going to get there so I'll be able to talk to them for a while too. :) I wish I was there, it used to be all of us there pretty much every Christmas. Now those were good times. :)
Oh, my server finally came back up yesterday so I put up that new layout at my clique. I also forgot to mention that I used my tablet to color some drawings I did a few years ago. They're right here and they're the last two up there. :) I think I did pretty good with them. They didn't come out all too bad. ;) Humm... that's all that I can remember right now, but I feel like I'm missing something so maybe I'll remember and add it later. TTFN and Merry Christmas!!!
Saturday, December 22, 2001
YES! I have learned php!!!! Well, at least what I needed/wanted to. ;) See? Oh, it's so incredably happy and I think I'm going to be using it a lot from now often! *sigh* So wonderful...
I still need to code that layout for my clique. Probably after I eat my dinner. Yes, you read right, my dinner. It's currently 11:30pm and I'm going to go and eat my dinner soon. The reason is because I got out of bed at 4pm today and it really doesn't feel like it should be this late. It seems like it should be so much earlier that it really is. Dang, I probably won't be able to fall asleep for at least a few more hours.
There's a bunch of stuff I need to do. Ugh. Well, this is it for now because I'm hungry. :) TTFN!
I haven't posted for a while. I've been somewhat of a post-lackie lately. I just keep doing other things and forgetting I guess. Humm...I will try harder. :)
Ugh! The Christmas party for my youth group was postponed to January! Stupid! Gar! They waited until a few hours before it was supposed to start to even call me and let me know. It's supid because it was supposed to be at my youth pastor's new house or whatever and they're not moved in yet so that's why they pushed it back. I was like, "Hello, we could go and do something else!" I was very bummed and disapointed. :(
Oh the up side, Ani did spend the night even though the party was postponed and we worked on stuff in Photoshop and I tought her some more HTML. I redid the layout she had in mind for her upcoming site. It's got froggies on it now! lol It came out pretty cute I think. :) I've still gotta code it all, but I'll do that in a day or two, I just don't feel like doing it right now.
I put up a new layout here. :) I think it came out alright. It's definately something that I haven't really done before and I got to use my tablet for some parts of it so that made me happy! :) I also made a new layout for one of my cliques, but I've still gotta code that too. I think I'll probably do it either before I go to bed, or whenever I happen to wake up afterwards. That's all I can think of for now. Nothing eventful in my life lately. Oh, I did find out today though, that I got a B- in my history class. :D I'm happy. A lot of my friends got that too and they're mad because they didn't get A's, but I think they just need to be reminded that the grade you get is not really that important. It's simply important that you did the best you could and you made a real effort. I would have been happy even if I'd gotten a C because that would mean that I passed and that's all I wanted out of that class, was just to pass. :) Well, g'night all!
Wednesday, December 19, 2001
Ooh, I went and saw The Lord of the Ring today... very good movie! I want the second and third ones and I want them now though! Ugh! They should have just made the movie nine hours long with a few intermissions in between a few parts. Then it could have been a day-long excersion for the family! lmao I think I should move into the marketing industry...
After the movie my mom and I went to do a little shoping and I got some really cool and very fun stuff! I got myself a new microphone for my computer so now I can install my copy of Real Producer and record my attempts at playing my guitar! :) Hehe. I also got a draw pad for my computer!!!! YES! Rock on! I've been wanting one for a while and they had one on sale so I paid for part of it and my parents are paying for the rest of it as part of my Christmas present. :) Ooh... It's so much fun! It did take me about four tries at getting the drivers for it installed right though. Arg. Oh well, at least it works now. :)
Tomorrow night is my youth groups X-mas party. :) I'm excited. My buddy Ani's gonna spend the night too so that we can be up till the early hours of the morning working on getting her domain up. :) Well, I've got a bit of a headache coming on and I'm going to go watch my last DVD from the ones we rented and hopefully scare the crap out of myself. ;D LoL G'night!
Monday, December 17, 2001
Oh my gosh, could it be that even though the server was down last night right when I wanted to post, I don't need to mess with my config file? Wow, that would be great. It looks like it's the right time, but it might not be the right day. I guess I'll know when I finish typing this and post it. :)
Ooh, I think I may have another idea for where I could work after I get out of high school to earn money for college or a technical school. Ah...happy. I can't tell you all where it is though 'cause you might all want to work there too and then I might not get a job and that would just really stink for me. LoL I think though, that at this point in time, I really should be focusing on a job for me right now! Ugh, I don't know a place that I'd want to work at where they might actually hire me. It sucks and I already need more money. I gotta get my kitties fixed and it's really not cheep. I can't believe they charge so dang freakin' much! I mean, they've got a $27 fee because they've never seen my cats before! What kind of BS is that? Ugh.
Well, as usual, didn't do much today. The phone kept ringing this morning and waking me up and that sucked. Somehow though, I did manage to get in a whole lot of sleep in between the phone ringing and the obnoxiously loud beeping of our answering machine. I'm going to actually have to go to sleep by midnight tonight so that I can wake up tomorrow morning because my mom and I are going out to meet some people for lunch. It should be lots of fun though. :)
It doesn't feel much like Christmas here. We're not setting up our fake tree this year because our kittens would tare it apart. Maybe next year they'll have started behaving better so that we can put it up. Everyone keeps saying how they hate fake trees, but I really like ours. We used to have a really big real tree every year and it was always really messy and ended up bringing in spider and our fake one doesn't. :) It's also fun because we've got some spray that smells like pine and some of that fake snow spray too! LoL I think it's actually pretty cool!
Well, off I go to attempt to do something constuctive with my time. TTFN!
Sunday, December 16, 2001
I HATE driving. It sucks like Hell! I decided to voice my opinion on the matter today because of what just happened. I'm heading home from church and I need to make a right turn at the stop sign I was at so I looked over and the person coming had their blinker on, so I, being the stupid ideot that I am, decided to go because it didn't occur to my little brain that there was another road just past me that they might be wanting to turn at instead. So, I go, they didn't turn like I thought they would, I totally cut them off, and then, of course, the blasted their horn at me and held it for like a full minute! Kinda ruined my entire day. That and the fact that my boy cat keeps getting on top of my girl cat and I haven't had the money to get either of them fixed yet so now I might end up with kittens again which would be very, very bad. I am pissed. Goodbye.
Friday, December 14, 2001
Well, last night the power went out. Figures. I was talking to my girl Tara on AIM and I told her I'd be right back on another screen name unless the power went out and sure enough, as soon as I signed off of AIM the power went out. Arg. LoL I guess it wasn't too bad. It's a good thing that it waited until my parents got back home otherwise I would have been very, VERY scared that some psycho killer would have come to get me. The power wasn't out for too long and I wanted to get back on my computer and work on some stuff, but it was still really windy so I just went to sleep since there was really nothing else to do.
I had the strangest set of dreams. There were three. The first I cannot remember, I only remember that it was rather strange and then the second and third were kinda related. The second one was set at some camp out in the woods and a bunch of people that I know and people from the high school were there. We rode their on a bus. It was a strange bus that was half indoor, half outdoor. Don't ask me why, but it was and it wasn't like one of those busses that's got the seating on the roof, they were next to each other and there was only one level. Ugh... anyway, then there was all this wierd stuff that happened at the camp. Then, in the third dream, which basically was a sequal to the second, the kid who plays on the Even Stevens TV show on Disney was there and was all like buddy-buddy with the other guys like they'd all been friends forever. Then there was this whole wierd thing to finish it off having to do with the girls dancing with some guys from another camp and the guys from our camp getting jealous, running over to our cabin and then turning into screws stuck in a long piece of wood! lmao I told you it was strange...
Well, today I woke up and watched some TV for a while and then decided to get on my computer. I surfed and joined a bunch of cliques with my personal domain and then got myself a new AIM screen name which I'm not going to post 'cause it's only for certain people. :) I think now I'm either going to start working on some sites I need to get back up or go and eat some food. Either way, this is the end of this entry so I will post again some other time when there's actually something interesting to post or even when there isn't. :)
Thursday, December 13, 2001
It is pouring rain. It's been pouring all day long. It's very wet and some roads are already flooding over a bit in town. I live in a very nice spot though, up on a hill and it doesn't flood at my house which is very good! lol
I went down to the high school for one period today to hang with Ani in her digital imaging class and show her some photoshop stuff. I didn't really get to show her much though. I got hosting for her domain today and she wants to launch it on January 2nd which I'm sure we can totally make. :) It should be cool. She wants a snowflake layout so I guess we'll see what happens with it. ;p She's actually making the main graphic for the layout too! I'm so proud! :D
I found out my score in astronomy today! :) I got a perfect score on my constellation identification and a 96 on the test. :) That gives me an overall grade for the whole quarter of 96.8%! I am a VERY happy camper. :D I'm not so sure how happy I'll be when I find out my history grade though...
Ack, I need to make my mommy her salad or she's going to make it herself and be mad at me. lol I guess one last thing before I go, and that's that I made this last night. :) TTFN!
Wednesday, December 12, 2001
Grr! I just had to mess with my config file a ton 'cause the times were messed up, AGAIN! I think my server time must like reset itself whenever it goes down. Arg. I makes me angry 'cause I had to post that same entry that's below three times before the proper time actually showed up. *sigh* Oh well, guess I shouldn't really get that angry. It's not that terrible. But it still makes me slightly peeved that the time changes itself and screws up the tags on my blog.
Burr! *shivers* It's cold! And there's a psycho kitty running though my house! My psycho kitty, of course, but still a psycho kitty none the less. :p
I was gonna post about a bunch of stuff yesterday that actually happened yesterday, but my server experianced some down time once again. I e-mailed them to let them know about the prob so hopefully it won't happen again. It always seems to happen though right when I want to post! Figures. LoL Anyway, yesterday... I went shopping with my mommy and I bought three new belts. They are all spiffin' cool! The first one I got was only $3 at Old Navy and it's got studs on it and it says Aries...it's way cool. The other two are the same, only with different colors and they've got flames on them. :) I also fount the coolest thing at Big!Lots(I hate their new name. Pick n' Save was so much better, but what are ya gonna do about it, ya know?), it's hair perfume with glitter in it and it's supposed to make your hair all glittery, but it didn't when I put it on after I got it. I was sad. :( Maybe the glitter will work next time or after I use it for a bit. I donno! Humm... Oh, and I got that new Jergen's Natually Smooth lotion that supposed to help make your leg hair finer so you don't have to shave as often...I'll let you all know if it acutally works! lmao
Ack! Now there's a wet kitty running through my house and I just hear something get knocked over. *goes to see what's broken now...* Oh, good, nothing broken. :)
Well, I took my history final today. Or really I should say that I took my fourth history test AND the final. I could have sworn that our fourth test was supposed to be our final before, but I guess somewhere along the lines he changed it so we had two, one right after the other. I think I did pretty good on test 4. Probably managed a B like all the other tests. The final though, I really have no idea. I think I did alright on the multiple choice and I think I bombed the two essay questions. I did get my paper back after I was all finished though and I managed an 84% on it so I think I may have escaped the entire class with a B and that would be very nice and make me very happy. :) My astronomy grade's still not posted on the website. It'll probably be up late tonight though, or so I hope.
I'm so happy! No more school until Jan. 2nd, 2002! Yayness! Tomorrow I'm going down to the high school though to just one class 'cause my friend wants me to come in and show her a bunch of photoshop stuff(it's a digital imaging class), so that's not so bad. I think afterwards I'm going to go and attempt to find myself a job. Maybe I'll get lucky and find a place I'd actually kinda like working at and they'll actually hire me. That would be very nice. :) Welp, I'm gonna go and work on stuff and then be lazy afterwards. :p TTFN!
Monday, December 10, 2001
Dang, improv was great last night! I so loved it, as I always do. :) LoL A total of three out of the like eight people I invited to come actually showed up. It was great though. We went out to dinner first and I got a bacon burger. It was a little undercooked from the point I like it at, but it was still pretty darn good. :) It was terrible at improv though! One of my fave guys that acts there was the judge for the night! Why's that terrible? Well, you automatically have to 'boo' the judge for any score he gives out, except that he did give like three 5's(I've never seen ANY judge give a 5 before) and everyone clapped for that. As usual, one of the members of our group won a free pass for two to come back, although, it wasn't me. :( But that's ok 'cause I did win something last time so it's really only fair that I let other people win every once in a while. ;)
Today's my daddy's b-day! Happy b-day daddy!!!!! It snowed for him again. :) It snowed more last year on his birthday, but it did snow some early, early this morning for him. He should be up at the ski slopes, but they're not open on Monday's yet! Can you believe it?! I couldn't. I was like, "How dare they deprive my daddy of skiing on his birthday, and especially when he actually has the day off of work!" Ugh! LoL
Dangit! I'm still getting flea bites on my ankles. Arg. Stupid bugs! First they bite my poor little kittes and then they get me next! They've hardly gotten my parents at all though... must be because of my sweet Irish blood or something. ;D
Well, I survived my astronomy final today. I think I actually did very well on it. My proff. said that the scores should probably be posted on the website by Wednesday. :) I'm not sure how I'm going to do on my history final on Wed. though. That reminds me...I need to download and print off the study sheet for that. Egh...I'd better go and do that now or I'm gonna forget and they I'll be in deep shit! (Hehe...it rhymes!) Ta ta for now!
Saturday, December 8, 2001
Yes! I so rock! It took me pretty much the whole day to do it, but I got missing.cx up! Go visit it and leave an entry in the guestbook or a comment or something. Please? :)
Improv is tomorrow! Yeah! A lot of my friends should be showing up. Or at least they said they'd show up right? lmao Only if I'm lucky. ;) Either way it's always lots of fun. I hope I'll win a prize again. That would totally rock and make my day. Egh...I just realized that I have to remember to study for my astronomy final tomorrow and then I'm going to have to do some serious cramming for my history final on Wednesday. I'm a little worried about that one.
Oh my gosh! People, people... it has finally happened!! My first really good off-line pal to get a domain! Boo yeah! She doesn't really have any idea what she's doing yet, but she will when I get through with her. ;p Heh, I'm going to have to give her some sort of html boot camp lesson or something. At least she's in digital imaging class right now so she's got some graphics experiance going on with her which is deffinately a plus. :)
Well, it's late and I really should be going to bed, but I'm still craving an apple so I'm going to get Balthazar off of my lap and go and get one in a bit. :) I'd forgotten how good golden-delicious apples really are and now that I've had one more recently I keep wanting to have them more often. :) Well, g'night all and TTFN!
Friday, December 7, 2001
I launched Evergreen Shrub earlier!! I'm so excited for it! It's gonna be a lot of fun! I get to go by Ryan! lmao I still gotta work on a layout for missing.cx though since Stephen lost all the files to the one he was making. :( I think I'll have that one up pretty soon though so that should be nice. LoL It took me freakin' almost two hours to get comments to work for me on E.S.! I was getting so pissed and the code wouldn't show up and I knew it was right so I went back into the templates to look at it and guess what I found...I missing like four tags! lmao After I added the tags it worked. *laughs* Man, I am so dumb sometimes. LoL
I turned in my history essay today. Hopefully I get an ok grade on it. I'm not really sure. I don't think it's very good, but I do think it's better than my first one so I don't know. Wish me luck! LoL I wonder when I find out what my final scores are in my classes...
Humm...I think I'm going to go and eat some chocolate ice cream and watch some TV. Maybe after that I'll work on missing.cx or one of my other sites that needs to go up. Woah, I just had a thought... What happens when all of my 'coming soon' sites are up and there's no more to make??? Nah, I'll just come up with more after that! lmao Well, off to eat some tasty ice cream! TTFN!
Wednesday, December 5, 2001
Yay! My mommy's home and she's alright! She's feeling just about back to normal now and that's very good. :) I did end up skipping school today because I was up so late waiting for my parents to get back and lucky for me I didn't really miss anything at all important. LoL I was in bed over half the day though and finally got up around 4pm. ;)
I also started on my history essay today and praise be to God, I've got 783 words typed and only a paragraph and a half to go and I've still got all of tomorrow to finish it! Boo yeah! *dances and sings* Go me, go me, go me! LoL I'm just so proud that I got a whole huge chunk of it done. Hopefully it doesn't sound too bad either and I'll get at least a B on it. :) I asked God for some inspiration on one of my possible topics and He gave it to me and it was great!
Well, that's essentially all I did today. I slept, watched TV, and worked on my paper. All in all it was a pretty good day though. :) And I'm actually not at all stressed about my paper being due on Friday and finals being next week! It is just so cool! :D Ok, well, off to check some e-mail and then I think I'm going to call it a night. TTFN!
Please pray for my Mommy. She's on her way home from the hospital right now. I don't know exactly what happened or what was wrong, but they said she could come home so she's alright now. Please just pray that she stays that way and that whatever it was was simply just a one time thing and that it, and nothing like it, will happen again. I was very, very scared and I'm just so glad that she's on her way home and I pray that her and my Daddy get home safely. Praise God that my Mommy's ok! Thank you. :)
Monday, December 3, 2001
I really should have started my history essay today, but, as usual, I got side tracked and decided to do some other things. I made some wallpapers and worked on some sites. You know, the same old. At least some of those things are coming along well. :)
I really need to find a way to get some guitar lessons. It's ticking me off that my guitar is just sitting propped in a corner of my room pretty much all the time. I mean, I pick it up and play what I know sometimes, but it's kinda hard because I don't know much and I'm not sure if I'm doing everything right. I don't think I am. LoL I'm getting a little better at the beginning of "Jingle Bells" though! lmao
In my history class today we had discussion time about some readings from one of our books and it was strange because we're always in the same groups and it's usually like the only time I ever talk in that class and I didn't think that anyone ever paid attention to me anyways, but this guy who sits in front of me does! LoL I wasn't saying anything because I didn't really have an opinion on our topic, but he looks at me and asks me what I think because I always seem to have something interesting to say and an opinion on the matter at hand. And I'm like, I do? lmao I didn't think anyone paid attention to me at all, I just kinda ramble on about stuff and pretend like I know what I'm talking about. ;)
Hehe, we got to talk about galactic cannibalism in astrononmy today! lmao Seems to me like everything we ever talk about in that class always ends up in death and destruction. It's actually quite funny. I'm pretty confident about scoring well on the final in there. The only thing I'm a little worried about is that spelling counts for a part of the test where he points out stars and constellations and we have to write the names of them down on a sheet of paper. I know how to spell a lot of them like Mizar and stuff, but some of them are spelled just plain wierd so I'm going to have to memorize them sometime before the test. I suck at spelling. LoL
I get to go to improv on Sunday!!! YES!!! I LOVE improv! I won something last time I was there and I'm going to try and win something again this time. It's so much fun. My youth group goes periodically and we always go to the Theater Sports night where there are two teams battling against each other. :) It is so much fun! I wanted to go to one of the summer clinics they have and learn how to do it, but it's rather far away and kind of expensive so it's not likely to happen any time soon. Oh well, maybe someday. :)
Ok, I guess that's all for now. I think I'm going to actually go to bed now. I had a really bad dizzy spell earlier and I think I need the extra sleep and it does sound very good to me right now. G'night all!
Sunday, December 2, 2001
I watched the movie Brian's Song on tv earlier. My parents said it was a remake of the original which I never saw anyways, so that doesn't matter to me. It was very good though. The ending was so sad and made me cry. They guy died at only 26 and it was just so sad.
I did some website stuff today, but not a whole lot. My parents didn't wake me for church this morning so I ended up sleeping in until around one thirty or something like that. Tomorrow I'm going to have to get up early again and I don't want to. At least it's my last full week of doing so for a while and then just finals and I get the rest of December off! Yes! I'm going to sleep and be on the net pretty much the entire time. LoL
Well, that's about all I did today. Pretty boring as usual. I think that I'm going to work on fixing up one of my older sites a bit before I go to bed. :) TTFN!
Saturday, December 1, 2001
I hate that I've lost all my friends that live around me. I don't know exactly why it happened. We just kinda went separate ways I guess. I want to call up someone right now just to talk or say hello, but no one's home because they all have people they go out and do things with and I don't. I almost never go and do anything. Everyday I go to school and then come home and I stay inside on this computer all the time. And then on the weekends all I do is go to church on Sunday mornings and after that I come straight home. I mean, sure, I go out and do stuff sometimes, but almost never anymore. It sucks. All my friends are on opposite sides of the spectrum from where I am. I'm so much different than everyone else I know. And I like who I am, I don't want to change. I like that I keep high morals and that I won't do things just to fit in with the so-called "cool" people. I like that I can do that. I just hate that I don't know anyone else who will. I'm not saying all the people I know are stuck up and horrible because they aren't at all. I just feel very alienated by them all right now. I go to a different school than half of them so I'm sure that's helping to push them away, but I couldn't have stayed at my old school. It would have killed me. I was watching a news segment the other day about kids that are teased and bullied at school. I may not have ever had it as bad as they did, but I had my fare share of things happen to me. I know exactly how they feel though. I just want people to see me and not judge me or think of me as something that I'm not. There are so many cruel people out there and I hate it! No one should ever be treated badly for any reason and especially the stupid reasons that they often turn out to be. I'm so afraid that I'm following in my mom's footsteps and that I'm going to end up making some of the same mistakes that she did. I wish I knew why God put me here and made me who I am. It just doesn't make sense to me right now. I know that God will let me know what I need to do when the time comes, but sometimes it's hard for me to wait. I often wonder what my purpose is and I doupt that I have any purpose at all sometimes. I wouldn't call myself a depressed person because I am not, but everyone does feel depressed sometimes. I doupt many people that I know would ever believe me if I told them I've thought about killing myself before, but I've never even tried because as soon as the thought came into my mind I knew it wasn't worth it. It's not worth it for me to do something so stupid and deprive myself and the people I love, who love me, of the things I'll do and accomplish when I get older. It's not right and it's not fair and that's why I've never done it and I never will. I know that someday everything will be so good, deep inside me I just know. Ow, my head hurts from crying. Stupid tears and emotions.
