February 2001
Wednesday, February 28, 2001
Well, this has been quite a week so far. I wonder what will happen tomorrow! LoL First, was Sunday and Backstreet day number one and that was just an awesome day. Then, was Monday which was Backstreet day number two, but nothing seemed to go my way that day and I was depressed most of the time. Followed by that was Tuesday in which I was depressed in the morning, but had begun to accept the events of the day before and deal with them buy late afternoon. And finially, as of yet anyways, that leaves today. I developed the only roll of film that I was able to use on the night of the second concert(the camera battery went dead on me right near the beginning) and it actually turned out so I was very excited. Later, there was a major earthquake! LoL Perhaps you heard about it. It was in Washington. Centered near our capital and I live fairly far away from there, but boy did we still feel it! LoL The good news though was that I got picked up shortly after and we all got to leave school early. :) Hehehe...sometimes I just don't understand the order in which things happen, but I guess that's probably because I'm not supposed to. ;) I do wonder what may happen tomorrow though. I hope we do have school...at least in the morning...so that I can make a few prints from my roll of film that developed. Well, gotta jet! More talk laterz.
Monday, February 26, 2001
Have you ever had one of those moments where you have all these mixed emotions running through you at lightning speed and you can't do anything to change it except for let it run its course? Well, this is one of those moments. I can't exactly explain to you why, but it has to do with both recent events as well as long lasting ones. My tummy's all in a jumble and my thoughts are mixed and frequent. I'm not even sure if any of this will make sense to you because of that. I just keep typing because it helps me to express my feelings in ways that only God and I will truly understand, but I am also able to share them with others and get things off of my chest so to speak. Life can be so confusing. Actually, it's more like certain instances in life can be confusing. It's unfortunate to experiance one of these instances, yet it is also a rewarding experiance filled with lessons to learn and new feelings to feel. And although it seems as though this may be my only chance for something like this to happen I know that if it is destined by God to be there will be another chance, or perhaps it's that I'm ending this chance before it's even begun. There is more to it than I make it to be and it certainly cannot be over. I just have to keep the faith and trust in the higher power of God. I must admit that I often find this hard to do and I do have doupts, but a message that my pastor gave us during church recently was about why it's ok to doupt and wonder about things sometimes because it can often make your faith stronger and encourage your belief. I hope that this is one of those experiances. :) I just have to be calm and know in my heart that God will protect me today and tomorrow just as he has done my entire life. I think I also need to remember that I'm in class right now and it probably wouldn't be the best thing to do right now if I were to cry in front of them all while I'm sitting here typing away at my computer. Ah, my beloved computer. Keyboards are really such a wonderful invention. They allow my thoughts to come out as words much faster than if I were to write them down on paper. Well, this is quite a long entry so far. I wonder why it is that I am such a long-winded person. I'm not complaining about it or anything. Actually, quite the contrary I really enjoy that I am able to write so much and that I can collect my thoughts in such a way that helps me release my feelings from deep inside. It's funny, I used to hate to write, but one poetry unit in the 8th grade changed all that and now I love it. I write whenever I need to express myself in a way that others will understand, while not understanding it fully. Words are another beautiful gift from God. There are so many. I can never remember tham all nor will I most likely know them all at any point in my earthly existance. Well, I guess that it is time to end this lil note. Wish me luck! :)
Friday, February 23, 2001
I told you I was gonna post more toward the end of the month and here I am! LoL I am so FREAKIN' excited here! There's only one more full day left until I get to go to the Backstreet concerts!!!! AHHH! Oh, and oh my gosh! I got tix for both nights and then a few hours ago today I decided to go check ticketmaster.com just to see what kind of seats they still had available and now I've got 12th row on the floor!!!!!! YES!!!! LoL I'm gonna be so frickin' close! Hehehehe! Anyways, yeah, I'm excited. :p Gotta jet! I'll write more later. TTFN!
Friday, February 16, 2001
Well, you'd think I'd be insanely happy because for the first time in the past couple years I finally have a snow day. Normally, I would be incredably happy except that I actually wanted and kind of needed to go to school today! LoL I can't complain about having it off though because it's nice to have an early start to our full week of vacation. ;p
Thursday, February 15, 2001
*sigh* Boring, boring day. I wish it had been more eventful. Then again, it's not nearly over yet...just the school part, which is good. We had a stupid pep assembly today. I dislike them thoroughly. It's just that ours are always either mass boring, or just plain stupid. I'm starting to become disapointed in myself right now. I don't know, I'm just feeling unmotivated lately toward most everything. Urg.
I had this really deranged dream last night. I can't exactly tell you what it is, but it was WAY beyond wierd. And not wierd as in cows were flying through jello, but wierd as in just unexpected and similar to the way things really are, only different in some ways. It was a school dream and there were people I knew and a teacher that I actually have for one of my classes, only, everything was really backwards. My teacher taught the class that I was transfering into in the dream even though it was a history class and in real life he's my web multimedia and design teacher. Then, there was my friend Autumn and everything was pretty much the same with her, and then these guys and it was just really wierd and things happened that normally wouldn't and just, weren't right. Well, the bottom line is just that it was wierd. I'd explain it further except that most of you probably wouldn't get it. Maybe I'll try and "decode" it. LoL That'd be interesting!
Well, yesterday was the quote, unquote day of love or whatever. I was kinda hoping to have a secret admirer and then find out that it was the guy I like, but nope, not even close. All I got were like two lil kid Valentines from some of my friends who were giving them out to everyone and then a card and a giant Hershey's Kiss made of solid chocolate from my mom. I didn't really do anything for anyone else though so I shouldn't have expected anything special to happen to me. I just gave a few of my friends these BSB valentines that I found that you can peel off and they become stickers and stuff and that was it. Not a very eventful day. I did get to talk to my pal Valerie from Cali whom I haven't talked to for like a year though. That was cool. I got to hear all about what's been happening in her life and all. :)
Well, I guess that's all for now because I'm really supposed to be working on my electronic portfolio right now. Not very fun, but I have no choice. Well, buh buye for now!
Tuesday, February 13, 2001
I've been a post lackie so far this month now haven't I? Well, that's gonna change near the end of the month once I have more stuff to write about. I'm so proud of myself! I've been working on a layout for my up-and-coming site at blueberryfrost.com and it's a tables layout so I wanted to use SSI(Server Side Includes) to make it so that every time I update the lil menu bar on the side of the pages I don't have to update every single page, but I couldn't get the code to work for some reason. Well, yesterday, I decided to finally be smart and name my index file index.shtml instead of index.html and it decided to work! LoL So, yeah, I'm really proud of myself for that. I'm also really proud 'cause I finally looked the guy I like straight in the face today...he kinda didn't notice or look back though...bummer.
In conjunction with the subject just stated tomorrow's another Valentine's Day...oh joy. I mean, I appreacitate the holiday and all and it gives people an excuse to be nice to others and such, it's just that Valentine's Day can become rather depressing to those of us without a special someone. Especially, those of us who've never had a special someone. Yeah, I'm talking about me. At least I'm not alone in this all, but still it kinda sux. You're probably wondering, "Well, why doesn't she just talk to that guy she likes and then she'll have a Valentine and it will be all happy and stuff?" Kinda doesn't work that way. I don't know...maybe someday it will and I'll get lucky. :) I can only hope! Hehehe!
Well, there's really not much else to talk about except that I'm starting to be bad again...I'm thinking about and eight domain! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I must stop! LoL Thing is though...I'm kinda into doing things with even numbers. If you've never noticed before...every time that I update this journal with is an even number. Yeah, I know I'm a freak, but I'm enjoying it so just back off. Guess I'm gonna go now. TTFN!
Friday, February 9, 2001
Well, today's just another boring, demented day. Ugh...ok, I'm having the darndest trouble figuring out why it is that my DIGITAL IMAGING class is doing electronic portfolios that are supposed to be for all of our subject and stuff. Now, maybe I was wrong, but I assumed that Digital Imaging 2 was going to be an advanced version of what we did in the first level. I guess I'm just dense or something.
Well, I've gotten the layout done for blueberryfrost.com, but I still have to get my SSI codes to work. I'm not sure if it's a problem with my server or what, but you know...whatever. I'll get it to work at some point or other it just might take me a lil while. Oh joy...LoL The layout looks nice though. It's simple, but I kinda like those kinds of layouts so it's good. :) It's all blue! Hehehe!
Hummmm...nothin' really going on at all. Guess I'll just go now and find something to work on or e-mail somebody or something like that. TTFN!
Thursday, February 1, 2001
Yet another depressing entry...
Apparently yesterday was just an all around bad day for the valley community here. My first period teacher wasn't here and I found out the reason why was because he had a heart attack in the morning. Luckily it was very minor and he's being moved into a regular room today which is a great sign! I know his daughter so we had a conversation about it during lunch. She's handling it better at least which is really good. :)
As well, as the accident and my teacher's heart attack one of the sports teams was out running yesterday afternoon after school when they found a dead body in the ditch on the side of a local road here. Apparently the body was of a man probably in his 30s. I don't know why he was there or what happened to him and I don't think anyone else really knows yet either.
I've been praying that there will be no more sadness for quite a while. Our community has had to deal with a lot of it. Two years ago, when I was in 8th grade, a high school student was killed instantly in a hit and run accident. A football player was also killed that year when his car hit a tree. Around the same time, I'm not exactly sure when, a young girl lost her mother and two sisters when she watched her father kill them. She was lucky to have gotten out of the house and to the police before he could get to her. My only conclusion of these events is that the world is a very dangerous place no matter who you are or where you live or what you age may be. Oh, I pray the world be touched by God's healing hand and that the Devil will have no more influence on our lives.
Well, I guess I ought to start out by telling you that this is going to be a rather depressing entry.
Today was a late arrival at my school. I slept in. I made the bus even though I thought I was going to end up being late, but I was early. I got on the bus and we started on our normal route to school and I did what I usually do. I had my headphones in and was oblivious to the rest of the world around me and lost in my own thoughts. I think about anything and everything on the bus ride. There's really not much else I can do. Today, I thought about death. About the way I'd want to die and about the ways I'd dread to die. I want to die in my sleep with no pain or to die with all my loved ones surrounding me. I don't want to die in a tragidy and I dislike hearing about them, but today was one of those days where I did. When we got to school there were news crews and then our bus driver announced to those of us who didn't know that three girls from my high school were in a car accident last night...two of them are dead. The other girl is apparently doing well at the hospital from what I've been hearing. I didn't know any of the girls...I mean, I may have seen them in the halls sometimes, but I wasn't close to them. There's this air around the school today...it's sad and depressing. I can't imagin the pain and all I can do is pray for those affected by this whole ordeal and that God will minister to their needs. I know He is here with His Angels today and I thank him for that. Please watch over us all Lord and help us deal with the pain and to understand that this didn't happen as an revengful act, but that it was written before the beginning of the time and had to be for some reason unknown to us all. The Lord be with you all this day and for the rest of your lives. Amen.
