July 2001
Tuesday, July 31, 2001
Well, after church on Sunday we went to one of the local parks for the BBQ to welcome all of the exchange students from Japan and have them meet their host families. We met the student who'd be staying with us and she is very nice. Her name is Tomoko(pronounced just as it looks like it should be). So, after the BBQ we came home and Tomoko and I watched a big chunk of the Erik von Detten day on the Disney Channel and then we all ate dinner and watched "Ever After." Tomoko really bonded with my kitties. She really likes them. That night, I finally got to sleep at 10:30pm after laying in bed for like an hour and then an hour later she(Tomoko) came into my room and woke me up because she was scared and homesick(which we didn't really know for sure at the time 'cause no one in my family knows Japanese) and so I woke my mom up and after a bit we finally got her to lay down and go to sleep. Angel and Balthazar(my kittens) are a big comfort to her so they've been sleeping with her every night so far. :)
Yesterday I drove Tomoko to her class thing and then came back home and played on the net for a while before leaving to go pick up some food and eat with them before we had our cultural exchange event. So, I drove back down into town and went to get a deluxe baked potato from Arby's and then took it to eat with everyone else. So, I get there, pull my potato out of the bag and manage to dump the entire thing all over my left pant leg! LoL Talk about a cultz! Anyways, so I had to drive myself back home and change into some different pants and start a load of laundry. By the time I got back they'd already started playing so games, but at least I didn't miss making the kites! Those we so cool! We made home-made Japanese kites and then we went out and flew them and that was cool. I started talking to one of the other girls there who's family is hosting an exchange student and I find myself with a new friend! LoL That was way cool.
So, today they're doing a price comparison at the grocery store(doesn't sound like fun to me, but it's supposed to be really cool for them) and then they're going to play baseball. I was going to go and play baseball with them, but now I'm not so sure. It depends if my mom wants to go with me when she gets home in a few hours. Tomorrow should be really cool though. We're going to do this thing called "Northwest Challenges" or something like that. I don't really even know what it is, but the lady who's coordinating everything said that I'd love it so I'm gonna go. Should be interesting. :) Well, gotta jet! TTFN!
Saturday, July 28, 2001
Well, I thought I was going to have a nice relaxing day off of work to sleep and just play on the computer...I was wrong. LoL They called me in this morning 'cause one of the other ladies who was there was really sick so I went in 'cause I was the only one who could. Oh well. Whatever. I did apparenly miss one of the Backstreet Boys in their online fan club chat, or at least that's what all the girls in there just told me. Just my luck! LoL Irish people are supposed to have good luck not bad! lmao At least I finished my new layout for krazay.net the other day. I'm really very proud of it. :) It's all yellow and purrty!
Well, I thought that I was going to get a free e-mail think for krazay.net, but my host wants to charge me WAY too much to change a little link of text in my MX records to make it work, so that's not going to happen. I think though, that my host for shininstar.net will do it so I'll probably offer free e-mail there.
Our Japanese exchange student comes tomorrow. I still don't know what time yet. I just know that it's tomorrow. We got a letter from her today! It's on really cool paper! LoL It's kinda seethrough-ish! Well, guess I should go and work on some of my sites and things that need to get up and check all my e-mail. TTFN!
Thursday, July 26, 2001
Ow...I hurt. LoL My bones aren't supposed to hurt! That's only supposed to happen when I get old! I'm not THAT old! Hehehe.
Crap! I used our calling card to call my friend Brit long distance and I don't know how long I talked, but when my mom just tried to use it she found out that it's all used up and they charge 89 freakin' cents per minute after you go over!!!! CRAP! I'm going to have to shell out a bunch of cash if I went way over. *sniffles* I so do not like phone companies! GRR to AT&T for trying to rip people off! LoL
I just added a bunch of stuff to blueberryfrost.com. There's three new poets there. Rajni is REALLY good! Well, guess I'm going to go chat. I've been doing that a lot lately. I haven't chatted for so long and now I've become addicted once again. LoL TTFN!
Well, I just launched shininstar.net. It's a lovely lil collective / jump site or whatever you'd like to call it. I think the layout is rather freaky so I'm probably going to change it soon unless I get too caught up in the other projects that I have at the moment, which could very easily happen. ;) LoL Well, I was mass tired earlier, but I've gone and passed that point, but it's going to catch up with me at work for sure. That's not going to be fun. Well, I think I'm going off to chat. TTFN!
Tuesday, July 24, 2001
Well, I just got finished reading the last book in my trilogy a few minutes ago, "Receive The Gift" by Louise Marley, and I just have to say...I WANT MORE! LoL Maybe I should write to her and see if she will write a few more books for me. ;)
I'm hoping to launch the temporary beginings of krazay.net today, but I don't know how well that will work. It depends on how well I can keep myself on task to getting it done. Guess, I'd better get on task now...LoL TTFN!
Monday, July 23, 2001
I just got an e-mail from Holly. She's decided that she doesn't want a blog anymore and asked me to delete her account, and so I did. *sniffles* Bye Holly! Don't forget to e-mail me once in a while! ;)
Well, yesterday I went to Tammy's surprise b-day party. :) She was surprised! LoL She had a bit of an idea, but didn't really get it all so she was still surprised to see us all. I stayed the night at her house and we watched a bunch of movies, or I should say I watched 'cause she always falls asleep.
YAY! krazay.net is all transfered and ready to go! LoL Now if I only had the layouts made for the stuff that's going up there...LoL
Well, I have to go to work at 4 today and be there till close so that kinda stinks. Hopefully we'll be amazingly slow and we'll get to close an hour early! LoL I can only hope and dream. Well, guess that's all for now. I'm supposed to do my chores before I leave. TTFN!
Sunday, July 22, 2001
Hey! Well, I just finished putting up my new group blog for me and my cousins a bit ago. It's called Longeuay Bratts and is located here. Let me know what you think of it. I actually really like the way the layout turned out. :)
Saturday, July 21, 2001
Aw... Steph is the sweetest! Thanks for you lovely entry in my gbook girl! You rock and people think you're really great too...(like your hostess). :)
Well, Ran and I tried to go and see "America's Sweethearts" tonight(I mean, a few hours ago when it was still yesterday...LoL), but it was sold out and by the time we got there it had probably already started anyways. Oh well. We were gonna try for another movie, but they were all way too late or way too stupid. We went and got subs and smothies though to make up for it. :) It was cool.
I found an awesome webhost! Well, hopefully they're awesome, it sounds like they are, but I will know for sure when they setup my account and I try it all out! I bought space for krazay.net. It's such a dang good deal! I was so proud of myself when I found it! LoL I actually found a really cool host all on my own! Hehehe. I might end up moving some of my other sites there too if it's really great. :) Well, gotta go. I think I'm going to see if anyone will talk to me in the BSB fanclub chatroom(no one ever does 'cause I don't go in under sn's like ILoveNick). TTFN!
Thursday, July 19, 2001
Well, I just put up a new layout at blueberryfrost.com a little bit ago. It's all fall-ish. :)
Well, work was really, umm...interesting today. Started out like a normal day and everything with me and my manager and then around twelve thirty-one o'clock in comes the audit lady!! AHHH! Talk about freaking out! I have learned something very important from this experiance...audits are bad...very bad. Anyways, we got an automatic fail because of something and it majorly sucked 'cause it could have been prevented so easily and it was like a one time thing. Anyways, kinda hard to explain. So, we have to have our boss schedual another one(we never know when it's going to be) and it's going to cost $250!! WAY too expensive! How much money do these people make?!?! Sheesh! It's insane! So, after she finally left, 20 minutes later, in walks the Pizza Hut guy to check how we're doing! Out of three we got two in one day and in the same shift! Yipes! Anyways, we passed that one just fine and the guy was really nice and he gave me and my manager these really nift lil pins. :) So, that made it a bit better. Oh, and we also have a hornet's nest inside of our drive-thru speaker. Don't ask me how it got there 'cause I have no clue.
Well, now that I've told ya all about today let's backtrack to yesterday. :) I got my stereo installed in my car so now I can finally listen to music rather than the noises that my car makes. I'm so happy! Then, two of my friends talked me into buying some hair dye. So, Tammy cut off like 4 inches of my hair last night and put what were supposed to be orange streaks in it. They came out a dark burgendy color. Now, it wasn't Tammy's fault. It just didn't work right and if I decide to redo it we'll probably need to bleach my hair. My head feels so light now...it's rather wierd. LoL
Wednesday, July 18, 2001
Dang, I really am long-winded! I doupt anyone will read that last post...maybe that's good thing...
I don't know what to write about. Do I ever know? I've got Angel on my lap right now and Balthazar is on the floor beneath my computer desk. It's late. I'm going to get my car stereo installed tomorrow...wait, scratch that...it's now considered to be today. Did you know I often feel rejected. Yeah, I do. I feel like I'm not usually given a chance at anything. I can't remember a time when I ever really felt accepted. Is it because I'm so quiet because I became quite 'cause I thought no one cared about me or anything I had to say. Was I wrong in that? Or was I right and it's just that nothing's changed? I mean, I know my friends like me and all, it's just that I still feel like with all my friends that I am the outsider. There are exceptions, but whenever they're around their friends it makes me feel as if I am not worthy at many times. I'm a very modest dresser. Almost every day I wear a pair of baggy-wide leg jeans and a shirt which is hardly seen since my black coat tends to cover it up. Is that so wrong? Is it wrong that my hair is frizzier than heck and my bangs are way too long and I always put my hair up in a pony tail and typically slap a bandana over it? Is that wrong? Is it wrong that I would rather have a man like me for my intellect than the way my body looks? I think that people see me as being unapproachable. I'm not. I just feel outcasted and maybe because of that I give off the vibe that I don't want to be approached. I must sound like an idiot. I ramble a lot. I think that just now and within the past few days I've realized something very important...Holly is lost and I don't know where to find her. She's been lost for a long time. I don't know who I am and that's why I feel the way that I do. Too often I wonder what people think about me, wonder what they see when they look at me and I shouldn't. I so often feel as though I need to please others which I also shouldn't feel. I love that I don't have to talk about this all to a face. I don't get feedback before I've even finished what I have to say and that feedback is not stupid things that I've already heard before and know. I KNOW what I should do and I know that I'm making this all out to be more than it really is, but my heart doesn't know. Yes, my mind hears it, takes it in, and very well understands it, but it has not communicated any further than that. My soul does not know it and for this reason I am lost. My physical body is here, but the parts that are missing are spiritual. I wish that I oculd just know the answer and solve all these problems. I wish that it was all that easy. Sometimes I think that if I just had someone to love me that it'd make it all better, but I know I need to love myself first. It's just hard because I haven't for so long. These past 9 or 10 months have been real different for me. So many things have happened and now I think it and the rest of my life are catching up with me. I don't know why I wrote this here or why it was now, but I needed to so here it is and it's a good thing that this is on the computer because if I'd written it down on paper it would be soaked with my tears. Have you ever felt that you were lost and had the terrible fear of never being able to find yourself? I have that fear. I want to know who I am, but I don't know where the journey begins to find myself. I don't know which road to travel down and I'm worried that when the time comes to choose I will choose the wrong one. I just desire to feel that I am a whole person instead of just a piece of one. Can you understand that? Does any of this make any sense to anyone? I guess I also wonder if I'm alone in this. I know everyone has problems and I know that there could be so many more horrible things rather that what has happened to me in my life, but sometimes I just feel like when I try to explain to someone that they just can't understand. I don't really even understand. God help me, please. I need you. Break me Lord and bring me to you. I need your love just as I always have and always will and I'm so thankful that I've always had it, but I want to more clearly accept it. Oh God, please break me.
Change takes so long and sometimes I wish for an instant answer, but I know that the best way will be the way that things take place. I want to stop trying to take comfort in things and take comfort in my Lord and all the incredably wonderful gifts He has given me and all the blessings that I have. I pray that You will guide me Lord and carry me through my troubles and never leave me to walk alone. Please let Your grace fall upon me now and forevermore Lord. Amen.
Sunday, July 15, 2001
Well, Autumn and I just got back from theatre sports a few minutes ago and it was SO MUCH FUN!!!! We both won prizes! LoL I got a lil mummy man key chain and his eyes glow in the dark(as Aki discovered) and then Autumn won two tickets to come back so her and I are going to do that...at some point...LoL If we ever remember about it and Autumn doesn't lose them. ;P
We're going to watch "Two Came Back" later and have Johnathan Brandis fever for the night. :) Ahh...the joys...hehe. Maybe we'll have Devon Sawa fever at the same time too! We can only hope. Oh, and we've got cookies and cream ice cream and some of my DisneyLand fudge left too! YES!! Well, guess that's all for now. shininstar.net still hasn't finished transfering...arg. Oh well, should be done by the time I get back from work tomorrow though at least. TTFN!
Saturday, July 14, 2001
Well, today was a very good day. :) I got to sleep in and then my mom and I went to see "Legally Blonde." It's a VERY good movie! LoL I liked it. Very funny and I love the ending. Anyways, after that we went to get my mom some stuff to kill the slugs that are eating her strawberry plants and then we were off to Car Toys! And guess what! Go on...guess... You don't know?!?! Ok, ok, I'll tell you... We got me a car stereo!!!!! YES!!!! It's a CD one with AM/FM radio and all that good junk. :) Only bummer is that I still have to wait until Wednesday to go and get it installed. *sniffles* But, at least after that it won't be just me and my car noises! :) Oh...so happy...music here I come! I only have speakers in the front of my car though...no surround sound for Holly.
I finally decided what I'm going to do with shininstar.net! I'm going to make it a collective site! :) I just got the space for it and now I just need to wait until my DNS info for the domain is changed(it can take like two days or whatever). I'm also going to have free e-mail there and maybe a chatroom. I could also put up a message board there since I took the one at raspberry-rain.net down. I don't know. All depends on what I feel like doing when I start to do it.
My youth group is going to theatre sports tomorrow night! :) And Autumn's coming with me. I love theatre sports! :) Oh, you might want to know what it is...it's improve stuff. :) Last time I contributed a little bit...I was so proud of myself! LoL Well, gotta jet! TTFN!
Thursday, July 12, 2001
GRRRRRRRRRR!!! ARG! RAR! AHHH! Oh my gosh! Ok, so I was just in the BSB fanclub chat(yes, I did pay the $25 or whatever dollars to join) and there was this guy from Washington which is where I live, so I PMed him and asked where. And guess what...it's the same area I live in! lol So I ask if he goes to my school and he says that his girlfriend does and then asked who I am and I was like, "Name's Holly." And he goes, "Holly Rudolf?" Now, I had to correct his spelling of course 'cause it's Rudolph, but you know... Anyways, so, I ask who he is and then he types goodbye n' stuff in the main chat area and leaves!!! GRRR! Now, I want to know who it is 'cause they know who I am. Arg. Anyways, someone told me he said his name's Kevin, so...whatever that means...
Wednesday, July 11, 2001
Well, I'm back at home now and let me tell you...it's SO nice! I can't wait to sleep in my own bed! YAY! Only thing stopping me is my stuff on it from the trip and my lil luvies(the kittens) are sleeping on it right now...they look so cute, as always. Well, now I must get some sleep because I have be at work at 10 AM tomorrow and I'm so dang freakin' tired. I need a new job...
Tuesday, July 10, 2001
GRRRRR!!!! I really hate when the internet is mean to me! Arg! I typed up this big 'ol huge reply to the post about the whole AJ thing on backstreet.nu and then I go to hit submit and the darn thing says that it can't access the page it needs so I lost the whole thing. GRRRRR!!!! And since I'm at my Aunt and Uncle's and they have WEBTV there's no way to copy text or anything and so it's gone...gone forever...oh well...maybe that's a good thing. Either that or it did post and this post now makes no sense and has no point. Oy...why me? LoL
I was planning to make this a much happier entry, but then I read holly's latest post about AJ of BSB and then went to backstreet.net and read more about it. Gosh, my friends and I have talked about AJ having problems before, but this brings a whole new light to it. Both my heart and my prayers go out to him, his family and the rest of the guys.
*sigh* this is shaping up to be a rather sad day. Now my lil cousin is all sad and she has to stay in her room 'cause she's in trouble. I think I may end up calling Tammy...it would be good for me to talk to her right about now I think. Well, gonna go. I'm going home tomorrow...that will be nice. :) I miss my mom and dad and my kittens.
Wednesday, July 4, 2001
Happy 4th everyone!!!!!! Well, in a little less than a half an hour I'll be off to my cousin's house for the party. :) I can't wait! Hope you all are having a great holiday!
Monday, July 2, 2001
I went bowling with Valerie and her friends Carrie and Nicole(sp? on both) and then later on her other friend Amber met up with us. I suck at bowling. At least this time I didn't slip on the floor and hurt my bum. LoL I've done that almost every single time I've ever gone bowling. Garr to the shoes. I did lose both games though! Ahh yeah...go me!! LoL
I'm so bored right now. I was supposed to go with Valerie to her school today(walk there, that is) early this morning, but since we were up so late last night I didn't get up in time and I stayed here. Hopefully she should be back really soon though at least.
Ugh! I can't wait until the 4th! I get to go and see my cousins CJ, Kev, Mike and Don! Oh yeah, plus like a million other relatives! Hehehe. It's usually a pretty big party and it's always been lots of fun and I expect this year to be no different at all. ;)
Hummm...I think I'm hungry...maybe I should go see if there's any good cereal in their pantry...
Sunday, July 1, 2001
Well, the beach was actually really boring. Ugh. It wasn't really that hot though at least so I don't have a headache yet(yay). I guess we're going bowling with some of Valerie's friends tonight. Pray that I live through it. LoL I think this could be bad. You know, when you go with your friend to hang with some of their friends that you don't know and you really kinda feel left out??? Oh well, should be ok I hope. :) Maybe they'll be really cool and be my friends too. Ok, guess that I'd better go. TTFN!
P.S. For some reason, the host that I just signed up with for krazay.org kinda died. I can't get anything done while I'm away from my computer at home though, so it won't be back up for a while. :( *sniffles*
